Ann Veronica stared at his foolish, propitiatory smile, his hungry gaze, through one moment of amazement, then stepped aside and went on her way with a quickened step. She was keenly resolved to do well in the school examination, and not to be drowned in the seas of emotion that threatened to submerge her intellectual being. Courtlaw sat with folded arms. Upstairs, in the little dressing-room, the panel was opened by means of tugging a small candlesconce in the wall. By the time she was done, the bodies in the bathtub were gathering flies. In the hall below she could hear his firm voice giving quick commands to the servants. With her foodle doo! "I've a toast to propose," cried Sheppard, filling a bumper. At any rate he made it very clear that night that there was an ineradicable discord in life, a jarring something that must shatter all her dreams of a way of living for women that would enable them to be free and spacious and friendly with men, and that was the passionate predisposition of men to believe that the love of women can be earned and won and controlled and compelled. At Morningside Park I feel as though all my growing up was presently to stop, as though I was being shut in from the light of life, and, as they say in botany, etiolated. The first Step towards the Ladder VII.
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